Overcoming Fear of Failure

It’s so easy to feel fearful and anxious. The fear of failure is a universal experience, and I’ve never met anyone who didn’t fear it. This feeling is common among students and new graduates. However, even the most successful people in the world have experienced failure. The ability to overcome obstacles and accept mistakes is a key part of achieving success.

When Fear Becomes Phobia

Believe it or not, there is a medical jargon for fear of failure. It’s called atychiphobia. Atychiphobia is the irrational, intense feeling of anxiety or danger around messing up, not measuring up, or being judged by other people for not accomplishing a goal. A fear of failure takes over when someone wants to avoid feeling shame about not getting an outcome they want or expect. We often fear the failure of one-off events or situations, but it can also hang out in the background as a general feeling of anxiety.

If the fear of failure is seriously impacting your life, it might be time to see a mental health counselor or therapist to work through what you are experiencing. Your fear could be a symptom of general anxiety or something deeper—but only a mental health professional will be able to help you figure out what’s going on and help you overcome it.

How To Fail

Here’s the thing. It’s so easy to fail. Just do nothing. Don’t listen to your teacher/instructor. Don’t go to class. Don’t do any of your homework. Don’t study. Don’t do the hard work. Give up. The ultimate failure is not trying and making mistakes – it's never trying in the first place.

Now, if you don’t want any of that to happen to you, then you have to embrace the tasks ahead of you. Don’t overthink. Just do what you have to do.

All of us started as young beginners with no experience. That’s okay. Nobody was born with 20 years of work experience. The key to getting over perfectionism is to permit yourself to be a beginner, which means not doing everything perfectly on your first try.

So, loosen up a little bit! Don’t expect perfection. So, be ready to be a beginner first. Be ready to learn. Accept being an amateur first.

Perfect Isn’t Real

If you’re a perfectionist, you likely want to succeed in your first attempt. Who doesn’t? But this is an unrealistic expectation. You’ll encounter roadblocks, and that’s normal. Two small steps forward and one step back is still a net positive.

Think of failure as a learning moment or a good teacher. No one succeeds without experiencing failure. Think of it this way, failure isn’t the enemy. Instead, it’s a teacher. Any successful person you admire— whether in business or leadership or sports, or even as a great mom or dad—has experienced a lot of failure. But they didn’t let it stop them.

The former NBA player, Michael Jordan, once said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

How To Succeed

Success doesn’t come easily and quickly. It doesn’t come from a drive-thru, a click of a button, a moment of shopping online, quick-pay, a Google search or an ATM. Success comes from hard work.

Success is a lot of work, but the first step is to take action. To pass a test requires long hours of focusing and studying, sacrifices, grit, and sleepless nights.

When you pass the test, go ahead and celebrate! Never forget to celebrate even the little victories. We can build self-esteem and confidence through small wins and positive reinforcement. Even the small wins are still counted on the list of one’s success.

When individuals experience success, even on a small scale, it increases their motivation, self-confidence. You’ll feel more determined to achieve more success, and actually make you more likely to achieve further success.

Celebrate the Small Stuff

We need to celebrate the progress we’ve made and recognize how far we’ve come. We might not be at the highest point of the mountain just yet, but we are on our way to get there. One step at a time. One small win at a time.

Rewards can be simple, such as going for a weekend trip, enjoying a short break, eating a favorite snack, buying that dress, shirt, or shoes you’ve always wanted to wear, or just as simple as watching an episode of a beloved TV show. Those little celebrations can come from a drive-thru, a click of a button, a moment of shopping online, quick-pay, a Google search or an ATM. 😊

We’re In This Together

One of the best things we can do when we feel afraid is talk to helpful people. We’ve got to surround ourselves with kind, like-minded folks who can share their wisdom. Talk to people who are already successful in the field or specialty you’re trying to get into. Ask them for their advice. 

By learning from your mistakes, you’re a step closer to reaching your goals. If you fail, remind yourself that it is normal. Take time to pause and reflect on why the failure occurred and how you can avoid it in the future.